A couple of weeks ago I witnessed one of my close male friends become victim of bias. My friend is a 31 year old African American with french braids and multiple tattoos, and owns a successful construction company. One day me, my friend, and one of his employees (white male) were out having lunch and a problem occurred at an insurance office they were working on. The owner of the insurance company demanded that she speak to the supervisor. So we immediately went to the site. When we arrived the lady (white) was very upset. When my friend tried to approach her she said "I do not want to waste anymore of my time talking to you people, because apparently you folks have trouble comprehending, now if you would excuse me I would like to speak with your boss". My friend tried speaking and she rudely hushed him and approached his employee. She stated her problem, and the employee said "I am sorry for the confusion, but as _______ stated it is against our company policy to switch materials once they are purchased. The lady was smiling and flirting, and she said "well can't you make an exception". He said "I'm sorry maam, but I have no say in that. But I'm sure my supervisor (pointing to my friend)would have considered it had you not offended him". The lady rolled her eyes and walked away.
Once we got into the truck the men were laughing and joking, and I could not understand why. So I asked if I was the only person who saw something wrong with what just happened. My friend said he experience this at least once a week and it does not bother him anymore. He said it lets him know he's doing something right.
I was still upset with the whole situation. The lady was rude and disrespectful, and on top of that she did not attempt to apologize. I am very proud of my friend, he worked very hard to build his company and because he is a black man he rarely gets credit. In this situation the lady did not want to see a black man with power or authority. It was not like she was just a nasty person because she was very friendly and pleasant with the white guy. Therefore, I believe there was inequity in the respect that the guys received. In order for this scenario to change the lady would have to change her views and work on some issues.
Hi Nashika,
ReplyDeleteThe woman definitely has some issues she needs to work through. However, it sounds like it might take some time before she can even admit she has biases that are unwarranted.
Unfortunately, there are many like her out there causing us continued grief in the fight against prejudices and oppressions.
Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you and support from his employees. That is probably why he is able to brave such situations with a positive attitude.
Sally
Nashika,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but that lady needs to change her perception about blacks. She has some definite issues. Not only with blacks in power, but with the understanding that color does not determine superiority. There were microaggressions, bias, prejudice, and plan rudness. You friend did the correct thing by trying to talk but once he saw that she did not want to hear from him because of his color, not saying anything is sometimes the best alternative. She wasn't defining him, only herself.
A poet by the name of Maya Angelou once stated that, " In order to survive, the ample soul needs refreshments and reminders daily of its right to be and to be wherever it finds itself." Your friend has used the ignorance of the customers to feel proud of his accomplishments as he has dispelled bias towards himself. This lady did not apologize because she probably did not feel that she had insulted your friend as in the history of the United states, some ethnic groups will tend to feel superior to others. It seems to me that this lady needs to pick up some literature on biases to assist her to unlearn stereotypes created from lack of experience.
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